The Dreaded Childbirth Class

Well, the time came for us to start our every-Tuesday-night-for-six-weeks childbirth class, and we were absolutely dreading it.

Richie was dreading it because he would rather tackle his mountain of PhD work on a Tuesday night than sit in a hospital meeting room hearing tales about female reproductive organs. Gee, what a surprise.

Bethany was dreading it because childbirth still makes her scared and totally grossed out; she would rather live in denial for the next couple of months and just take it when it comes. Since she hears you forget everything from childbirth class anyway...

But to our great surprise, we actually enjoyed it.

It was fascinating to be in a room full of 10 expectant couples and to hear all of their stories.

Our instructor is hilarious.

We got to watch a snippet of our favorite Mr. Cosby talking about childbirth, which had us in fits of laughter.

We heard stories of pinched nerves and resultant immobility causing the husband literally to push the wife out of bed in the middle of the night when she needed to go to the bathroom.

We heard about sciatica causing moms to collapse at work.

We heard about moms frantically trying to finish their PhD dissertations before the baby comes because they hear that brain cells die when you have a baby.

We heard time and again how hard most of these couples tried to get pregnant.

We heard from the couple next to us that they were only 15 years old and in 9th and 10th grades.

We heard about all the bizarre cravings some moms get, like cheese dipped in ovaltine.

We heard about the weird dreams that some of the pregnant ladies have had, like giving birth to a dog and breastfeeding a cat.

So aside from Bethany entering a Most Embarrassing Moment of inappropriate, uncontrollable laughter (ask us if you want to know why), we had a good time listening, talking, laughing, breathing (inhale to 4, exhale to 8, inhale to 4, exhale to 8, inhale to 4, exhale to 8), watching Cosby, and observing all the awkward-looking fathers.

The night ended up making us very grateful. Here's why:

Bethany's belly was the smallest in the room, which before would have made her embarrassed and self-conscious, but now made her happy as she listened to tales of women accidentally knocking things over with their bellies and accidentally whamming people with the bellies, too. So we became grateful, for the first time, that Bethany's belly isn't the biggest on earth.

We also became more thankful that we live together and around family. This seems to be rare.

We became more excited for this baby as we heard how so many couples tried for so long.

We became extremely grateful for Bethany's health, which (aside from the virus and cholestasis scare) has been remarkably free of classic, very uncomfortable pregnancy symptoms.

And of course the whole time the baby was kicking and thudding around. Armstrong the Determined, we love ya, babe.