Creative Ways of Tormenting Your Baby Brother

1. Balancing your cup of goat milk on his newborn head.

2. Taking your thumb and pointer fingers, pretending to stroke his downy brown hair, pinching a fingerful of that sweet newborn hair, and yanking until the baby cries.

3. Cuddling next to him, so close that you're actually crushing his torso.

4. Finding him in the middle of Mom and Dad's bed, blissfully asleep, and standing beside the bed jumping up and down shrieking to try to wake him up.

5. Pretending to kiss his toes, but coming up for air and leaving teeth marks.

6. Pretending to hold his hand, but squeezing his hand so tightly that it has lost all color.

7. Telling Mommy that you are going to go fix Baby's head with a tool, using a hand motion resembling a huge vise grip.

And there's more. If you ever need advice, just ask Luke.

This has been a much easier week than last, as we all adjust to this new thing called a Baby. Only one meltdown moment, which happened yesterday: Bethany alone with Two Boys. Trying to get outside for a little walk. Has Luke all bundled up. In the process, Zeke is screaming. Finally poops. So Bethany takes off Zeke's bundling, changes his diaper, and Zeke pees all over his face, head, clothes. Bethany runs to get another diaper while Luke plays with the pee, and in the meantime, Zeke had pooped over everything. Try again. Diaper #3. Meanwhile, Bethany puts Zeke's poopy clothes in the sink and runs the water. Phone rings. Bethany ignores it. Doorbell rings. Bethany runs to the door, sees an unfamiliar male face through the peephole, tells Luke to be silent, and rushes away to where Zeke is still crying. Then she notices that the sink is about to overflow. Turns off faucet barely in time. Finally, everyone's ready to go outside. The troupe exits and realizes the sun is already going down and it is freezing. Reenter the indoors to bundle up more. Go outside again--finally--sighs of relief--and Zeke cranks up the wailing, hungry to nurse.

So we called it quits. Richie once again came to the rescue; he took Sarah and Luke out for a stroll while Bethany gained composure and nursed Zeke, flopped on the couch ready to call it a day.

Meanwhile, Zeke's tummy seems much improved, as Bethany has stopped eating dairy, wheat, soy, and the "no-no" list of gassy foods. After Bethany eliminated these common offenders from her cuisine, Zeke was, within a day, a different character. She has now added wheat to her list of okay foods, and Zeke seems to be doing fine. He is the sweetest, most serious little fellow, with lungs that can blow your ear drums. He has taken to the occasional evening wailing session of an hour or less, much preferred over every-time-he's-awake screaming parties. He seems to have two gears. Well, four. Eating (also going much better now that Bethany lies horizontal to nurse, using gravity to her advantage); sleeping (when he is constantly wiggling, grunting, groaning, whimpering, dreaming, snoring, wheezing); awake and totally totally mellow, looking around and taking it all in with a furrowed, furrowed brow; and then full of air and wailing at the top of his lungs. When Zeke cries, Luke looks at Bethany and pleads on Zeke's behalf, "Nummies! Nummies!" When Mommy explains that his tummy is too full of bubbles to nurse him, Luke gives Zeke a pep talk: "Burp! Burp!" ("Bup! Bup!") Eventually, Zeke obeys, and is Mr. Mellow once again. We love our new little guy to bits. And yes, even Luke does. His moments of tormenting Zeke aren't the dominating interactions--just the occasional ones--and really, they are the rights, the duties, of every big brother. (At least that's what Shiloh taught Bethany and Gracie to believe.)


Luke the Tormentor in a moment of glory.


The Boat pictures promised last time.


Salmon or trout? All reeled in.


Getting that knife ready to gut the poor critter.


The men spy a garbage truck! Worthy of halting all plans and finding somewhere to sit.


This was the plan that was halted. A picture of the four of us. Thanks, Sam! This was right before we took Zeke to his thirteen-day-old checkup with Dr. O. He has been gaining two ounces a day (twice as much as normal, the glutton!); and as of yesterday, he weighed in at almost ten pounds. Go, Zeke, go!


The Glutton himself.


Poppy with his first two grandbabies.


Believe it or not, Siena doesn't always enjoy Luke's doting affection.


"Who, me?"


Jamming!




Mama with her little Zeke.


And a similar photo of Mama with her little Luke, March 1st of 2007, when Luke was about a month older than Zeke is in the above shot.


Now for Richie with his little men.


Tormenting aside, Luke is very doting to his family. Here, he is kind enough to feed Mom a sip of her very own rice drink that she let him grab away from her. What a guy. (He is also constantly offering Zeke his snacks. Thanks, but no thanks...)


Here the big helper assists Poppy in fixing the very barn he himself broke. Again, what a guy.


Saturday morning, Daddy and Son off for another adventure! Where will Richie take him this time?


Boats! (Sarah always likes to come along too.)


Splat.


Adoring the newest Mom-is-really-outnumbered factor.


Tragedy struck this week: Luke dove into the corner of the crib. Check out the bruise.


Nothing an "ice pack" of corn can't fix! Luke was very suspicious of the corn in its original packaging, and trusted a see-through ziploc much better. Understood. Corn can be scary.


Speaking of scary, have you ever seen a spider this big? Luke is the spider. Poppy's new trick. Gets Luke in cahoots every time.


Poppy hasn't tried Spider on Zeke yet. Cuddles will do for now.


We have yet to mention the manpower of the little dude named Ezekiel. From Day One in the hospital, he has been able to hold his head up and look around, then gently put it back on our shoulders again. It is the most bizarre thing. His neck is very thick and strong. It made the nurses laugh. Thick neck and long arms! In addition, we noticed at just a week old that Zeke freely rolls from side to side when we place him on his back, and at eleven days old, he rolled onto his side then kept going all the way over til he was on his tummy! Now if that ain't somethin'... Meanwhile, we warn everyone who holds him that he is stronger than he looks and they need to hold him tightly, lest he throw himself out of their arms. We've had a few close calls already. Don't let his tiny newborn body deceive you! He's a powerhouse! ;)


Potato cigars.


Zeke's first trip to In N Out, 17 days old. Luke made it at 11 days old. Luke wins.


The Family, Sunday, January 25, 2009.


The Family, Sunday, January 21, 2007.


Our way home from In N Out wasn't pleasant. Can you guess what Zeke was doing?


Again, take a wild guess...


And we'll finish off with two last bits of unpleasantness. The most unflattering pictures we have of our two little men.


(Just never tell them we ever showed you those photos.)

All for now. Off to enroll Zeke in an infant self-defense course.